Tag Archives: Goals

You Have Sight, But No Vision

“The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision.” – Helen Keller

Lately, I have been struggling with something in my personal life that seems so obvious, yet, I’m not finding the solution anywhere…. So a wise person said to me, “You have sight, but no vision.” … Rarely, do words cut me to the core so quickly. I am the Queen of rationalizing, and anyone can pretty much give me any critique or criticism and I can turn it on its head to a positive for me or figure out how to be right in almost any particular situation . Yes, this is a defense mechanism, but I’ve learned over the last 6 months to be more introspective especially when receiving advice from wise and caring people. So let’s go back to what they said:

“You have sight, but no vision.”

Now in a textbook Eye Doctor definition, “Eye sight is tested through one’s ability to see images up close and far away” (source“The term “vision” however, encompasses the idea of eyesight but goes a little bit beyond it.  Eye care doctors check to see if the eyes are working in sync” involving things like focus, convergence and depth perception.

So let’s be a little abstract here, when you only have sight about something in your life, you take it at face value, and you just run with it. But what about your heart, your gut or intuition, do you listen? Because sometimes what we “see” in life is based on a misperception or a missed-perception.

So let’s take a moment, and check our vision. What area in your life lacks vision?  How about your future? Is there are a part of your life where you lack vision and your heart, mind, body and soul refuse to work in one accord, practically fighting each other to keep you at a stand still?

I’ve been there. I’m currently stuck in a few areas in my life with no vision, trying to find my way out of a hole.

So can we live if we only see the things in front of us and don’t perceive the deeper layer or what’s in the shadows? Of course, we can, but do you want to? It’s so easy to be fooled by our eyes. We can become so addicted to getting what we want and not realizing there’s more than meets the eye. (Sorry not sorry, pun intended) .

So let me put in some personal context:   

When I started this blog, three years ago, I lacked vision. By pure will and boredom, I wanted to write, figure out social media and numb my senses due to some mistakes I had made that completely changed the trajectory of my life.  Writing gives me a joy that I never thought I’d experience  again after not pursuing my first passion of dance after graduating from my performing arts high school. Writing has basically become my special power that I didn’t know I had nor did I know the role it would play in my life. To be honest, I am still not 100% on what it will look like for the rest of my life,  but sitting here, and twiddling my thumbs, because from what I can SEE, all I have are serious doubts about doing this. No one really likes my blog? What if I offend someone? No one cares, seriously.  Pretty surface level stuff.

I’ve written in several blogs about my apprehension in writing. Am I writing for me, writing for others, and to put it quite frankly, writing for the stats, the views of the general public. Those three things are hard to balance, and I’ve probably only mastered it once on my own personal blog. I usually accomplish it more when I write for someone else.

This is (or was) the first problem.

You can’t find your vision when you’re looking in the wrong place. Even people with the best intentions can fool you, when you’re not creating a vision for yourself, you get lost. Soon after I start blogging, and every time I talked about writing, someone was always asking if I could write for them. Initially, I was flattered, but I was in the midst of finding my vision, I got distracted looking in places that weren’t for me. I wrote some amazing blogs, but I had to get off this train or I would never find my vision.

So I have decided to write for me from here on out. Not that I don’t want others to read and enjoy my work, but I started Missing Perspective to share my point of view. But things began changed. As a social commentary writer, it’s crazy to think about how different America was just three years in the political landscape.

This is (or was) the second problem. Change. Be ready for it. Your vision cannot be expected to live in a vacuum. Our two eyes can catch a lot of action, in the vision for your life, there will be surprises. Life ebbs and flows. As the political landscape changed, something I love to write about, I found myself scared. It feels as if people, for the most part, only try to read and listen to opinions of like minded individuals nowadays. Our country is so divided it seems there are only a few places of common ground when there should be so much more it. So I made excuses about why I couldn’t write this or that, because things have changed, but I wouldn’t enjoy a world where topics were recycled over and over. I wasn’t prepared for change… and preparation is key without it a vision will fizzle and die. 

And of course, the most important piece, and where my biggest growth over the last few months  is focus. If I find myself looking in the right place, seeing the full landscape (depth perception), expecting change… there’s only one step left. The most important step.

To simply focus on the task at hand. To allow yourself to zoom in and zoom out to get just the right picture, to see the full view….. and create your vision.

I am ready…. Are you?

Feel free to share you thoughts below in the comments, or tweet at me here with the #vision

Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough

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“Excuses are tools for the weak and incompetent used to build monuments of nothingness. Those who excel in it seldom excel in anything else but excuses”.  

That’s right folks, I am here to talk about excuses, but I am not talking about politicians and celebrities today,  I am actually doing a little self-reflection. I am participating in another blog post link-up  (click here for more details) and this month’s topic is “WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS FOR THE FALL?”

Now, I generally walk around with a number of goals in my mind, and they are always around my career, working in my community or blogging . I am very ambitious and my focus on those items are solid. Therefore, I had to take a hard look on a few things that I need to work on. Okay wait, let me stop lying, I didn’t have to take a hard look, I know exactly what goals I need in my life, and they all surround self-care. I am that person that rolls their eyes when people talk about paying attention to self-care. I mean we’re selfish beings right? (for more on selfishness, click here) So of course, I focus on myself plenty, and I wouldn’t neglect things that are important to, say my health,  getting enough rest and then I realized…

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I MAKE PLENTY of EXCUSES and neglect myself. I have mastered turning excuses into perfect arguments that could win any legal battle ( I blame law school). I called these glorified excuses, and I just can’t get enough. I can rationalize myself out of anything that I do not want to do, especially self-care. I realized there are certain areas in my life where I am not setting goals. I have talked myself out of focusing on those areas in order to achieve the goals that I do enjoy.  I think I have always viewed my goals as  building on my strengths, or reaching new heights to have more badges of honor. I mean, who wants to work on areas that they don’t enjoy, but I realized that it’s much deeper than that. It is also about avoiding failure. Why set goals in areas in which I struggle? The probability for failure is much greater. Nobody wants to set themselves up for failure. I sure as hell don’t. I have even heard speakers who suggest that it is wrong to focus on weaknesses, because you’re exerting too much energy on the wrong things. Maybe I have bought into this too much.

Therefore, I have decided for my fall goals to focus on areas where I need actual improvement, and not in areas I am just trying to reach higher heights. So here they are:

  1. Exercising and Eating Healthy
    1. I actually love exercising, and letting out steam with a little sweat. I do not, however, like to eat healthy. These two items are connected for me,  because I make excuses not to get these done, because of time. Over the next three or four months, I am going to MAKE TIME to pay attention to my health. Since I wasn’t unhappy with my body, but I needed to lose a pound here and there, I was just putting it off. But being healthy is just as important as anything else and I need to make time for that as much as I make time to have a mentor, going to a training to improve my professional skills. Hopefully, it will assist in my mental and emotional well-being, which makes the whole machine (ME) work better.
  2. Take A Break/Alone Time
    1. Yeah, I have this as a goal, because as an extreme extrovert I definitely get a lot of energy from being around others. People motivate, inspire, and excite me in general. I am weird and enjoy networking. But what I am learning as I get older taking time for yourself is actually important in building relationships. Just like a car, we can cause ourselves to end up on E. We have to fill ourselves up whether its reading, mediating, or asking ourselves tough questions and finding answers that will provide better interactions with others. The other reason  is taking the time for self-reflection.  I need more of this. I am learning that I can be on the go to the point, where I am not sitting and evaluating what’s going on. Obviously, these types of posts assist in self-reflection, but I need to take more time  to breathe in and exhale. I am excited to see what I learn here.
  3. Just Say No
    1. Simple. I need to say no to things. I know, especially women, make this goal often, because we are givers, and love to give, give, and give. For me, this isn’t even just about giving to much. Sometimes, I need to tell my family no and my friends, but I also need to be able to tell myself NO. The hardest person to tell no is the person in the mirror. I know giving excuses to others seem easy, but for me, I have become to comfortable with making excuses for myself, convincing myself to say Yes to too much. I believe this goal will also assist in achieving goal 1 and 2.

Now that wasn’t too painful (it was actually), but I am glad I stopped to think about it. It’s your turn!  Share what your goals for Fall? AND please be sure to check out POSTS from the other bloggers that I am linked up with this month below.

Annie Reeves
26 and Not Counting
Alyssa J Freitas
Carly Blogs
Feathers and Stripes
Carrie Loves
White Oak Creative
PRBlonde
Sequins & Strawberries
Pieced Together
PreppyPanache
Knowing Kelly
Something Good
Life By Bri
My Beauty Cloud
La Vie Petite
Wealthy in Health
White Cabana
Mrs. on the Move
Boys and Bombshells
She’s All Smiles
Life Modifier
Everyday Cuvée
A Little Leopard
Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough
L is for Lucy
Cori’s Corner
Beauty and the Pitch
Dreams and Colour Schemes
Viciloves
Lights Camera Catwalk
Pattern Me Pretty
A Few of My Favorite Things
Chic Glamorous and Splendid
She’s All Smiles
StyledbyKesha
Suzy Speaks
Luv in the Bubble
The Minimalist

M/P

Great Expectations (The Anniversary Edition)

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“Ask no questions, and you will get no lies”- Charles Dickens

Today is the anniversary of the launch of my blog. This time last year, I published my  first post  here on Missing Perspective. And the rest is history. I am so thankful for my faithful readers, commentators,  and sharers of my work. Without you this wouldn’t be as interesting, engaging or fun!

As I have been approaching my one year anniversary, I have been asked:  Have you reached your expectations over the last year? Absolutely! Why? Because at the beginning I set zero expectations. I had purposed in my heart, I was going to do this and anything was going to be better than nothing. Sounded like a good idea in the beginning. Well, along the way, I laid out expectations at different times of the year. At times, I reached them and others, I completely, and utterly missed the mark. But that’s okay, because no one is perfect right.

When you’re starting something new in uncharted territory, you  take advice from others, read tips, how to’s, and every manual that tells you exactly what you should do. And sometimes people ask your advice along the way, because they too are trying to do exactly what you are doing. Having to read what others did, successfully or unsuccessfully, and then describing to others what you did/do, is one of the ways we can have Great Expectations failings for ourselves every time.  But guess what I learned from that experience.

In the process of working on my blog,  I learned to read, hear, and know bull shit better than ever before, and boy, did I need to learn that lesson. If you ask my mother, she will tell you that I am naïve, and even though she would never admit it, sometimes I surprise her with my silly naiveté or trust and belief in what other people say. But when you embark on a journey like writing a blog, which causes you to put yourself out there, you learn a lot from this experience, but that’s only when you’re honest with yourself.

So after 6 months, when I would read other blogs, or talk to other people about blogging, I could honestly tell the fakers from the truth Sayers. Some people are quick to tell you their readership, or following and why they are awesome, instead of providing practical application and advice. This matters, because if you start to compare yourselves to them, you start wondering if you are doing something wrong or what more could you be doing, even though you are already barely getting any sleep.

But I just decided to sit back and learn genuine people versus the completely lying out of the side of their mouth people. Blogging and social media worlds are generally pretty friendly, sharing, and authentic. (Join any tweet chat, and the top word most of the time is authentic, trust me, I know). Everyone has been to lie to, and that gets kind of old.

I say all of this, because expectations are important. We should all have them for ourselves. It’s good to even have expectations of others, but if you don’t like heartbreak, having few expectations for your friends, family, and significant others is probably the best idea in my book.

I write a lot about creating goals, working on them, and achieving them. But the reality is that it’s so much more than your professional life. It could be personal, spiritual, among many other things. More importantly, they can be small or large goals, just don’t let anyone else define them for you. I wrote earlier this week about not putting ourselves in boxes, or getting caught up in identifying ourselves with a particular group. But sometimes, people on the outside do just that,  and try to set our expectations.

Because of my aspirations (taking over the world), ambitions (semi-entrepreneur), views (feminist, feminist, feminist, and girls rock), and passion (there is literally no end to it), people even put me in a box. I have to explain so many misconceptions of what I believe, what I am most proud of, and what things are most important to me. To the point, I create expectations based on these demands and not because it is in my heart. I encourage you not to do that as well. At some point in life, you have to live for you and realize, like I have learned, misconceptions will always be there, there is nothing you can do about it.   Smart people will move on and keeping doing what makes them happy, because at the end of the day that’s what is important.

So I picked, Great Expectations as my title, not because I like Charles Dickens’ book by any means. If fact, Great Expectations is probably my least favorite Dickens novel and not because it isn’t beautifully written, and the story is compelling, gut wrenching, etc, but I just wish the story was different for Pip.  Who can’t help but sympathize and admire him throughout the story. I oddly have a fond admiration for a story that I do not enjoy.

The term “Expectations” refers to a Victorian definition, “a legacy to come”, sounds beautiful does it not. Despite Pip’s orphan status, he has great ambition throughout this book, but at many points throughout, he is disappointed and it kind of hurts. So for me, I can love the thought of having great expectations, but reality will always set in. But as the preacher used to say, “trouble won’t last always”, and that’s exactly it. It is always better to try and miss the mark then to never try at all. Hopefully, our lives won’t be a tragedy  like Pip, but at least it won’t be half lived.  Create expectations, reach for the stars, and believe in dreams that only you are meant to enjoy.

So as I celebrate my anniversary, I encourage you to remember:

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Thanks for reading, and to another year!

Jackie-Monroe

Turning the Corner… Fearlessly!

See you in the future

“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” – Walt Disney

I decided to do a blog post link-up this week (click here for more details). Ironically, the topic of the link up fits fairly well into this week’s “The Monday Fits” where I wrote about selling your personal brand to yourself, before you can sell to anyone one else. The irony is that I write about the importance of our generation’s future quite a bit, whether it’s discussing taking risks, pursuing your dreams and chasing waterfalls. My most recent post asked my readers to reflect on what they’re selling to people and whether they believe their own story. So I have been selling to my readers about taking ACTION for their future, so to be asked to evaluate myself in a real way caught me a little off guard. What am I doing, what I am constantly selling to my audience? So with today’s post, I am evaluating myself, and I hope that you take the time do so as well. It is so important that we are intentional with our future

 Topic: WHAT ARE YOU DOING (NOW) TO PREPARE FOR YOUR FUTURE? WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD START DOING TO CREATE A BETTER FUTURE FOR YOURSELF?

When thinking about my future, there are so small tasks that I think are necessary to literally do every day to get to the next level, and then there are the big ideas, your vision for the future. This is usually what are dreams are made of and sometimes they can make your stomach turn, because you’re never 100% sure if you will be able to accomplish them. Hence, why the small the tasks are so important to get to the end, they will lead you to the big vision, but it can be hard not to lose focus. So below I listed my long term goals, and what I am (trying) to do each day to prepare for my future.

  1. Being Bold  –  Professionally. This really manifests itself by trusting my gut. In my role at work, I make recommendations by analyzing problems through policy, research and data and look for solutions. Being creative and trying something new, when the evidence supports the idea, is important. But often, people don’t see or understand your vision or idea. So you really have to believe in yourself and not seek others approval.  We can talk ourselves out of taking a risk. I am guilty of it, but I work on it so that one day I may be able to be a fearless leader.  – Long Term Goal: Run a Non-Profit Organization
  2. Saving Money  I have a problem with this thing called self- control and prioritization. Self-control is important now, and not for the next day.  On a day to day basis, I am focusing on spending my money on items that are aligned with my long term goals and not the thing that feels good at the moment.  The main day to day task that I have to do is taking the time to say NO. Sounds simple, but it’s not easy. Denying one’s self today for the benefit for tomorrow is hard. I am an emotional being if you have ever read any of my intense Mondays Fits. Being debt-free allows me to be fearlessly in control of not only my finances, future business financing and financial freedom – Long Term Goal: Being Debt-Free  for business and personal investments
  3. Meaning What I Say Why is this a goal? Because at every job interview, discussion, or questionnaire, when someone asks what is one of my top 3 qualities that are important to me, my first answer is always integrity. In some areas in our lives, having integrity is effortless. In other areas, it takes some real soul searching to keep your integrity intact. But more times than not, its the small white lies or minor excuses that make us lose our integrity. Those small occurrences will turn into big ones if we don’t monitor our behavior. But being a positive role model is important to me and my future. Meaning what I say allows me to be fearless in the example that I set for those around me, who look up to me or those who are having to work an depend on me. – Long Term Goal: Be a good Parent, Role Model, and Co-Worker

Question Numero 2 – Now what should I start doing to create a better future for myself? My initial reaction to this question, is EVERYTHING. But that is clearly not possible or plausible. But I think there is one major thing that I should start doing to create a better future for myself is being able to make mistakes, pick up, and keep it going. It is easy to sit and wallow, and sometimes it is more enjoyable to do so, but allowing the bumps to stop you is the same as not having goals in the first place. If we allow one mistake to slow us down, we will begin to get bogged down, and never make any movement. The other reason I think this is important to start doing this is no one else can teach you how to do this or how to overcome when you want to give up. Those motivations come from within. The only person who can turn the corner fearlessly is YOU!

Your turn!  Answer the questions for yourself, What are doing right (NOW) to prepare for your future? What do you think you should start doing to create a better future for yourself? AND please be sure to check out POSTS from the other bloggers below.

Meg Biram
Liska Monet
26 and Not Counting
soak and simmer
Knowing Kelly
Carrie Loves
Alyssa J Freitas
Manifest Yourself
Rae Loves
White Cabana
The Yuppie Files
Little Wild Heart
Life Modifier
The Not Quite Adult
Random Little Faves
Perfect Enough For Us
Always, Anita
Feathers and Stripes
Something Good
The Golden Letter
Leigh Clair
York Avenue
Sequins & Strawberries
Emilie Lima Burke
with love from ellie
rejoyce
Bite My Fashion
White Oak Creative
StyledbyKesha
xo lacey
Whitney Bangel Blog
always craving
Evann Clingan
Turning the Corner…Fearlessly!
IN THE GREY
Beauty and the Pitch
PRBlonde