Tag Archives: Self-Improvement

Take the Time and Use a Timeout

Timeout

“The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.” Thomas Paine

Self- Evaluation

Self-Discovery

Self-Reflection

*yawns*

Are you one of those people who likes reading self-help books? Or the kind of person who takes hours during the week or month to stop and think about how you can do things better or become a better person?

Well, this article might not be for you.

There are people who don’t like to read self-help books, either by choice or because the busyness of life, they don’t stop and reflect (and by they, I really mean we, because I am guilty as charged) ….This post is for you.

For me, I am guilty of being a true energizer bunny, and my goal is to just keep going and going and going…. Rarely, do I stop and take breath or pause for a moment to reflect.

And you might ask, ‘Don’t you ever sit and think about what you are doing’… yeah, if I make a mistake and feel some type of pain or regret. But unless you’re in a constant flow of pain and regret, you can go weeks and months without looking back and thinking of how you are getting from A to B. This is me. To truly sit back and self-reflect on life, you have to be intentional, not only for yourself, but for those around you.

In the past, I was piling things onto my plate and  avoided this much needed self-reflection. But earlier this year, I found myself complaining and irritable, and I began to question whether I was really happy. I am naturally a glass half-full, extreme optimist, who LOVES Monday. So when it felt like every other sentence out of my mouth was negative, I began to see that it was affecting those around me. I knew something was wrong.  But, I didn’t quite know how to stop my normal way of life.

I was used to it. It was familiar. Unfamiliarity is not cool. Sort of.

But despite my resistance to this idea of changing my natural flow of life, I had enough people around me telling me that I wasn’t crazy, and that maybe a switch-up was exactly what I needed.

So 4 months ago, I significantly reduced my involvement in a lot of things which opened my life up.

More time to write. More time to sleep, and to be quite frank, more time to myself. At first, I didn’t use this time wisely at all. I was still a little reluctant and there was no reflection occurring. I filled it with other things, mindless things, so I thought I was making progress, but I knew that wasn’t my purpose. I quickly reminded myself that I needed to be intentional and do something different that was going to help me.

The purpose was to stop and reflect, and after about 3 months, I finally am getting the swing of more alone time, saying no, and developing new skills. As I began to reflect more, there were some things that I am surprised were going on in my life and others were exactly the way I thought they were.

The biggest area in my life that I needed to take a look at was leadership. And boy, am I learning a lot. I am a big proponent that leadership skills are innate, and that you can’t teach people how to be good leaders. But people can learn how to be better at leading and if they are willing to learn. I think I am natural born leader, but I probably haven’t learned anything new about leading. I needed to have a seat.

As of June 1st, 2016, I hold zero leadership positions for the first time in my life in over 15 years and I am loving every minute. I made this decision back in February when I realized, that for more than 15 years, I was in some capacity leading a group of of youth or adults in some way. I was like I have to stop. I was right, I am following, and learning so much more about being a leader than I have in the last two years.

It is important to learn that although you are capable of leading, allowing others to lead you and absorb their knowledge is a part of the process. If I didn’t stop to smell the roses, I would be missing out on some important nuggets that not only will make me a better leader, but ultimately a better person for those around me. I am learning a couple of other things along the way:

  • Patience – I need more of it
  • Discipline – I need more of it
  • Listening – I need to do more of it

The last point is clearly something that I was vastly aware of. I am always trying to talk less and listen, but taking the time to step back and see how I was behaving. I need to make this a reality, what’s the point of knowing you need to fix something and not improving it. Therefore, I am intentionally listening more.

I noticed that I needed more patience and discipline in almost every area of my life. I needed to build a little stamina in both of these areas to be a little better and a little more productive. Although a product of the millennial generation that is in love with instant gratification, this doesn’t change the fact that some things take time and you have to work hard to achieve your goals.

One goal in particular is becoming healthier. Waiting for pounds and inches to drop is the slowest process known to man. But what is the rush? I find myself trying to cheat or expedite the process, cut corners, only to my detriment. Not only did I realize I needed to improve this about myself, I couldn’t do it alone. I have felt discouraged and down on myself a number of times. The trainers have coached me, encouraged me, and loved on me a little bit, and I have stayed more committed to my health longer than ever before. When I noticed this was happening, I reflected on other areas in my life where I was lacking patience. I was able to connect some of my frustrations and identify one of the root causes to my increased complaining. This reflection has made a big impact my life in this short amount of time. So now I have opened my arms to the process on reflecting my behavior and plan to continue this self-evaluation, discovery and reflection with joy.

Why don’t you join me? Please share your experience with self-reflection.

M/P

Turning the Corner… Fearlessly!

See you in the future

“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” – Walt Disney

I decided to do a blog post link-up this week (click here for more details). Ironically, the topic of the link up fits fairly well into this week’s “The Monday Fits” where I wrote about selling your personal brand to yourself, before you can sell to anyone one else. The irony is that I write about the importance of our generation’s future quite a bit, whether it’s discussing taking risks, pursuing your dreams and chasing waterfalls. My most recent post asked my readers to reflect on what they’re selling to people and whether they believe their own story. So I have been selling to my readers about taking ACTION for their future, so to be asked to evaluate myself in a real way caught me a little off guard. What am I doing, what I am constantly selling to my audience? So with today’s post, I am evaluating myself, and I hope that you take the time do so as well. It is so important that we are intentional with our future

 Topic: WHAT ARE YOU DOING (NOW) TO PREPARE FOR YOUR FUTURE? WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD START DOING TO CREATE A BETTER FUTURE FOR YOURSELF?

When thinking about my future, there are so small tasks that I think are necessary to literally do every day to get to the next level, and then there are the big ideas, your vision for the future. This is usually what are dreams are made of and sometimes they can make your stomach turn, because you’re never 100% sure if you will be able to accomplish them. Hence, why the small the tasks are so important to get to the end, they will lead you to the big vision, but it can be hard not to lose focus. So below I listed my long term goals, and what I am (trying) to do each day to prepare for my future.

  1. Being Bold  –  Professionally. This really manifests itself by trusting my gut. In my role at work, I make recommendations by analyzing problems through policy, research and data and look for solutions. Being creative and trying something new, when the evidence supports the idea, is important. But often, people don’t see or understand your vision or idea. So you really have to believe in yourself and not seek others approval.  We can talk ourselves out of taking a risk. I am guilty of it, but I work on it so that one day I may be able to be a fearless leader.  – Long Term Goal: Run a Non-Profit Organization
  2. Saving Money  I have a problem with this thing called self- control and prioritization. Self-control is important now, and not for the next day.  On a day to day basis, I am focusing on spending my money on items that are aligned with my long term goals and not the thing that feels good at the moment.  The main day to day task that I have to do is taking the time to say NO. Sounds simple, but it’s not easy. Denying one’s self today for the benefit for tomorrow is hard. I am an emotional being if you have ever read any of my intense Mondays Fits. Being debt-free allows me to be fearlessly in control of not only my finances, future business financing and financial freedom – Long Term Goal: Being Debt-Free  for business and personal investments
  3. Meaning What I Say Why is this a goal? Because at every job interview, discussion, or questionnaire, when someone asks what is one of my top 3 qualities that are important to me, my first answer is always integrity. In some areas in our lives, having integrity is effortless. In other areas, it takes some real soul searching to keep your integrity intact. But more times than not, its the small white lies or minor excuses that make us lose our integrity. Those small occurrences will turn into big ones if we don’t monitor our behavior. But being a positive role model is important to me and my future. Meaning what I say allows me to be fearless in the example that I set for those around me, who look up to me or those who are having to work an depend on me. – Long Term Goal: Be a good Parent, Role Model, and Co-Worker

Question Numero 2 – Now what should I start doing to create a better future for myself? My initial reaction to this question, is EVERYTHING. But that is clearly not possible or plausible. But I think there is one major thing that I should start doing to create a better future for myself is being able to make mistakes, pick up, and keep it going. It is easy to sit and wallow, and sometimes it is more enjoyable to do so, but allowing the bumps to stop you is the same as not having goals in the first place. If we allow one mistake to slow us down, we will begin to get bogged down, and never make any movement. The other reason I think this is important to start doing this is no one else can teach you how to do this or how to overcome when you want to give up. Those motivations come from within. The only person who can turn the corner fearlessly is YOU!

Your turn!  Answer the questions for yourself, What are doing right (NOW) to prepare for your future? What do you think you should start doing to create a better future for yourself? AND please be sure to check out POSTS from the other bloggers below.

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