Tag Archives: Focus

Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough

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“Excuses are tools for the weak and incompetent used to build monuments of nothingness. Those who excel in it seldom excel in anything else but excuses”.  

That’s right folks, I am here to talk about excuses, but I am not talking about politicians and celebrities today,  I am actually doing a little self-reflection. I am participating in another blog post link-up  (click here for more details) and this month’s topic is “WHAT ARE YOUR GOALS FOR THE FALL?”

Now, I generally walk around with a number of goals in my mind, and they are always around my career, working in my community or blogging . I am very ambitious and my focus on those items are solid. Therefore, I had to take a hard look on a few things that I need to work on. Okay wait, let me stop lying, I didn’t have to take a hard look, I know exactly what goals I need in my life, and they all surround self-care. I am that person that rolls their eyes when people talk about paying attention to self-care. I mean we’re selfish beings right? (for more on selfishness, click here) So of course, I focus on myself plenty, and I wouldn’t neglect things that are important to, say my health,  getting enough rest and then I realized…

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I MAKE PLENTY of EXCUSES and neglect myself. I have mastered turning excuses into perfect arguments that could win any legal battle ( I blame law school). I called these glorified excuses, and I just can’t get enough. I can rationalize myself out of anything that I do not want to do, especially self-care. I realized there are certain areas in my life where I am not setting goals. I have talked myself out of focusing on those areas in order to achieve the goals that I do enjoy.  I think I have always viewed my goals as  building on my strengths, or reaching new heights to have more badges of honor. I mean, who wants to work on areas that they don’t enjoy, but I realized that it’s much deeper than that. It is also about avoiding failure. Why set goals in areas in which I struggle? The probability for failure is much greater. Nobody wants to set themselves up for failure. I sure as hell don’t. I have even heard speakers who suggest that it is wrong to focus on weaknesses, because you’re exerting too much energy on the wrong things. Maybe I have bought into this too much.

Therefore, I have decided for my fall goals to focus on areas where I need actual improvement, and not in areas I am just trying to reach higher heights. So here they are:

  1. Exercising and Eating Healthy
    1. I actually love exercising, and letting out steam with a little sweat. I do not, however, like to eat healthy. These two items are connected for me,  because I make excuses not to get these done, because of time. Over the next three or four months, I am going to MAKE TIME to pay attention to my health. Since I wasn’t unhappy with my body, but I needed to lose a pound here and there, I was just putting it off. But being healthy is just as important as anything else and I need to make time for that as much as I make time to have a mentor, going to a training to improve my professional skills. Hopefully, it will assist in my mental and emotional well-being, which makes the whole machine (ME) work better.
  2. Take A Break/Alone Time
    1. Yeah, I have this as a goal, because as an extreme extrovert I definitely get a lot of energy from being around others. People motivate, inspire, and excite me in general. I am weird and enjoy networking. But what I am learning as I get older taking time for yourself is actually important in building relationships. Just like a car, we can cause ourselves to end up on E. We have to fill ourselves up whether its reading, mediating, or asking ourselves tough questions and finding answers that will provide better interactions with others. The other reason  is taking the time for self-reflection.  I need more of this. I am learning that I can be on the go to the point, where I am not sitting and evaluating what’s going on. Obviously, these types of posts assist in self-reflection, but I need to take more time  to breathe in and exhale. I am excited to see what I learn here.
  3. Just Say No
    1. Simple. I need to say no to things. I know, especially women, make this goal often, because we are givers, and love to give, give, and give. For me, this isn’t even just about giving to much. Sometimes, I need to tell my family no and my friends, but I also need to be able to tell myself NO. The hardest person to tell no is the person in the mirror. I know giving excuses to others seem easy, but for me, I have become to comfortable with making excuses for myself, convincing myself to say Yes to too much. I believe this goal will also assist in achieving goal 1 and 2.

Now that wasn’t too painful (it was actually), but I am glad I stopped to think about it. It’s your turn!  Share what your goals for Fall? AND please be sure to check out POSTS from the other bloggers that I am linked up with this month below.

Annie Reeves
26 and Not Counting
Alyssa J Freitas
Carly Blogs
Feathers and Stripes
Carrie Loves
White Oak Creative
PRBlonde
Sequins & Strawberries
Pieced Together
PreppyPanache
Knowing Kelly
Something Good
Life By Bri
My Beauty Cloud
La Vie Petite
Wealthy in Health
White Cabana
Mrs. on the Move
Boys and Bombshells
She’s All Smiles
Life Modifier
Everyday Cuvée
A Little Leopard
Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough
L is for Lucy
Cori’s Corner
Beauty and the Pitch
Dreams and Colour Schemes
Viciloves
Lights Camera Catwalk
Pattern Me Pretty
A Few of My Favorite Things
Chic Glamorous and Splendid
She’s All Smiles
StyledbyKesha
Suzy Speaks
Luv in the Bubble
The Minimalist

M/P

Make Your Mark (Stop Focusing on the Wrong S%$#)

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“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”  – Mark Twain

Focus is one of the many mysteries known to man. We all know what it is to be “focused”, but maintaining focus in one’s life is one of the greatest mysteries, because just when we think we are focused, in an instant that moment of focus can be lost. Whether it is because of our family, loved ones, work or just any randomness that can take you away from what you need to be focused on. This happens to us all. I’ve learned to create moments solely for being unfocused, since it’s inevitable. Make sense right? I have literally built in random moments of unfocused time during my constructive time where I intentionally allow myself to be unfocused. Does it work?  Sometimes, it really does. And other times those “moments” of unfocused time turns into hours on hours on hours which means I wasted hours that will never be returned to me. But our focus is so much more than a short attention span and getting distracted. It’s so much more than competing desires, interests, and wants. It’s more than fighting priorities. Let’s talk focus on a higher level, because what you focus on in life can direct your steps and determine the decisions that you make in life decisions.

It can be said that what you focus on, shows what is most important to you, and I don’t know if I always agree with the preposition. At times, we focus on what is fed to us. We are blinded by constant images, advertisements among many other things. These messages can have us focusing on things unintentionally. Since we live in the social media era, we are often change focus unintentionally based on the images we see on Facebook, Twitter, IG or even Pinterest. It’s based on our friends or even celebrities, and our priorities replaced by someone else’s life or maybe its envy or jealousy. Either way, it’s important to reset your focus as if you’re a camera. We need to be re-calibrated, because our eyes can be over saturated, and we need to hit the refresh button.

Of course, I am talking about focus because I’ve been slightly struggling with focus in my own life, but that’s not really what had me thinking about it. This summer, there have been a number of hot topics, from Caitlyn Jenner, legalization of same-sex marriage, Charleston, confederate flag removal,  one crazy admission ( that we already knew was true) from Bill Cosby, or even Donald Trump’s increasing popularity with his oddly popular (and raw ) comments regarding illegal immigration. Not to mention, globally, you have the continual Greece financial crisis, the terrorist groups, ISIS and Boko Haram are both alive, well and still wreaking havoc, amongst several other issues. At times, it feels like I am “supposed” to care about all of these things, but I am not sure I really do, not to mention these things have nothing to do with what’s actually going on in my life. But when I look at the candidates running for President and the things they choose to talk about or focus on, has made me want to evaluate how I determine what’s important to my core.  I decided to thinkabout , “what does it really mean to be focused?”.

There are three things in my opinion that make up the core of what you focus on in life: your Mind, your Heart, and your Soul. All three are inner connected, and their functions sometimes overlap, but each play into how you focus your attention on a larger scale. (Warning: I am really working in the abstract here, be patient with me).

Your heart is your core. It is highly sensitive to external influences, it can cause you to make decisions impulsively due to an emotional response that we can’t shake. The heart, my friends, is how people choose where their passions lie. The heart, is also highly sensitive to love or compassion, and largely guides our personal and professional life. We make decisions to where to work, who to love, where to live, or what to fight for based on an emotional response in the heart. The heart is honestly the easiest part to be distracted. (Note: People who are able to make “unemotional” decisions have made in fact an emotional decision to trust the mind more than the heart – no one is truly free from emotion)

Your mind is your body’s calculator. It’s computing, configuring, deciding and making decisions based on reason. Can you really accomplish x, y, and z with the tools that you have in your tool box? Your eyes receive images, messages, and your mind processes them to formulate the best decision. It is really important that you do not perceive things wrong, place things in your mind incorrectly, because that is how the mind makes the wrong decision and gets you off focus. My mother is always telling me and my brother to be mindful of how we remember experiences, because your mind takes notes and makes decisions based on what you input into it. This where being honest with yourself is important.

You soul is your moral barometer. It determines what is right and wrong, it is our moral center, the spiritual nature of who we are. It walks in the shadow of the heart and mind, who have a strong pull on how we operate, but it honestly, is the most important, because it is what keeps the heart and mind on track. If it something conflicts with your soul, you should walk away immediately, stop focusing on it. You have to train the heart and mind soul to trust the soul. The day I learned how importance my soul was to who I was, the day I release some useless stuff out of my life.

So let’s get out of the air, and talk about how you can set your heart, mind and soul to focus. I think these steps could be helpful or something to consider to help focus you.

  1. For Your Heart

    1. Figure out what is important, and everything else doesn’t matter. Sound simple? You really have to make a list though. Prioritize your passions. Often, we can have multiple passions, but if you place them in an order of importance you realize, that you have to let go of passion 6 – 100, because 1 -5 will never happen if you don’t. No, like seriously. Superman and superwoman aren’t real, and even if they were, they aren’t YOU. So yes, write down a list or take 30 minutes to think about what’s important to your heart, and work on those things.
  2. For Your Mind –

    1. Identify your weaknesses and your strengths. Then look at your list, see where you are lying to yourself, yes, be truthful about what you’re awesome in and where you really aren’t. Also, don’t be insecure, and keep hidden where you excel. Why is this step so important, based on your list of strengths and weaknesses, it may determine if they are in line with what your heart. Might have to do a little negotiation. You will probably find, that there are passions that you don’t have skills to accomplish or they are based on envy not substance.
  3. For Your Soul –

    1. Set your standards in life AND stick to them. The more you are consistent with your moral compass, the better your heart and mind will believe you and listen. So literally, jot down a list of your standards, and strive to achieve them. Sometimes your soul isn’t in every decision that you make, but the soul is always involved when making the wrong decision. The more areas of your life where you identify your standards, the more success you will have. One place to start, is what you aren’t willing to accept from others. Protect your heart and mind.

Now, go forth  and prosper FOCUS and make life simple.

M/P

“That’s been one of my mantras – focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains.” – Steve Jobs