Tag Archives: Dreams

You Have Sight, But No Vision

“The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision.” – Helen Keller

Lately, I have been struggling with something in my personal life that seems so obvious, yet, I’m not finding the solution anywhere…. So a wise person said to me, “You have sight, but no vision.” … Rarely, do words cut me to the core so quickly. I am the Queen of rationalizing, and anyone can pretty much give me any critique or criticism and I can turn it on its head to a positive for me or figure out how to be right in almost any particular situation . Yes, this is a defense mechanism, but I’ve learned over the last 6 months to be more introspective especially when receiving advice from wise and caring people. So let’s go back to what they said:

“You have sight, but no vision.”

Now in a textbook Eye Doctor definition, “Eye sight is tested through one’s ability to see images up close and far away” (source“The term “vision” however, encompasses the idea of eyesight but goes a little bit beyond it.  Eye care doctors check to see if the eyes are working in sync” involving things like focus, convergence and depth perception.

So let’s be a little abstract here, when you only have sight about something in your life, you take it at face value, and you just run with it. But what about your heart, your gut or intuition, do you listen? Because sometimes what we “see” in life is based on a misperception or a missed-perception.

So let’s take a moment, and check our vision. What area in your life lacks vision?  How about your future? Is there are a part of your life where you lack vision and your heart, mind, body and soul refuse to work in one accord, practically fighting each other to keep you at a stand still?

I’ve been there. I’m currently stuck in a few areas in my life with no vision, trying to find my way out of a hole.

So can we live if we only see the things in front of us and don’t perceive the deeper layer or what’s in the shadows? Of course, we can, but do you want to? It’s so easy to be fooled by our eyes. We can become so addicted to getting what we want and not realizing there’s more than meets the eye. (Sorry not sorry, pun intended) .

So let me put in some personal context:   

When I started this blog, three years ago, I lacked vision. By pure will and boredom, I wanted to write, figure out social media and numb my senses due to some mistakes I had made that completely changed the trajectory of my life.  Writing gives me a joy that I never thought I’d experience  again after not pursuing my first passion of dance after graduating from my performing arts high school. Writing has basically become my special power that I didn’t know I had nor did I know the role it would play in my life. To be honest, I am still not 100% on what it will look like for the rest of my life,  but sitting here, and twiddling my thumbs, because from what I can SEE, all I have are serious doubts about doing this. No one really likes my blog? What if I offend someone? No one cares, seriously.  Pretty surface level stuff.

I’ve written in several blogs about my apprehension in writing. Am I writing for me, writing for others, and to put it quite frankly, writing for the stats, the views of the general public. Those three things are hard to balance, and I’ve probably only mastered it once on my own personal blog. I usually accomplish it more when I write for someone else.

This is (or was) the first problem.

You can’t find your vision when you’re looking in the wrong place. Even people with the best intentions can fool you, when you’re not creating a vision for yourself, you get lost. Soon after I start blogging, and every time I talked about writing, someone was always asking if I could write for them. Initially, I was flattered, but I was in the midst of finding my vision, I got distracted looking in places that weren’t for me. I wrote some amazing blogs, but I had to get off this train or I would never find my vision.

So I have decided to write for me from here on out. Not that I don’t want others to read and enjoy my work, but I started Missing Perspective to share my point of view. But things began changed. As a social commentary writer, it’s crazy to think about how different America was just three years in the political landscape.

This is (or was) the second problem. Change. Be ready for it. Your vision cannot be expected to live in a vacuum. Our two eyes can catch a lot of action, in the vision for your life, there will be surprises. Life ebbs and flows. As the political landscape changed, something I love to write about, I found myself scared. It feels as if people, for the most part, only try to read and listen to opinions of like minded individuals nowadays. Our country is so divided it seems there are only a few places of common ground when there should be so much more it. So I made excuses about why I couldn’t write this or that, because things have changed, but I wouldn’t enjoy a world where topics were recycled over and over. I wasn’t prepared for change… and preparation is key without it a vision will fizzle and die. 

And of course, the most important piece, and where my biggest growth over the last few months  is focus. If I find myself looking in the right place, seeing the full landscape (depth perception), expecting change… there’s only one step left. The most important step.

To simply focus on the task at hand. To allow yourself to zoom in and zoom out to get just the right picture, to see the full view….. and create your vision.

I am ready…. Are you?

Feel free to share you thoughts below in the comments, or tweet at me here with the #vision

Great Expectations (The Anniversary Edition)

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“Ask no questions, and you will get no lies”- Charles Dickens

Today is the anniversary of the launch of my blog. This time last year, I published my  first post  here on Missing Perspective. And the rest is history. I am so thankful for my faithful readers, commentators,  and sharers of my work. Without you this wouldn’t be as interesting, engaging or fun!

As I have been approaching my one year anniversary, I have been asked:  Have you reached your expectations over the last year? Absolutely! Why? Because at the beginning I set zero expectations. I had purposed in my heart, I was going to do this and anything was going to be better than nothing. Sounded like a good idea in the beginning. Well, along the way, I laid out expectations at different times of the year. At times, I reached them and others, I completely, and utterly missed the mark. But that’s okay, because no one is perfect right.

When you’re starting something new in uncharted territory, you  take advice from others, read tips, how to’s, and every manual that tells you exactly what you should do. And sometimes people ask your advice along the way, because they too are trying to do exactly what you are doing. Having to read what others did, successfully or unsuccessfully, and then describing to others what you did/do, is one of the ways we can have Great Expectations failings for ourselves every time.  But guess what I learned from that experience.

In the process of working on my blog,  I learned to read, hear, and know bull shit better than ever before, and boy, did I need to learn that lesson. If you ask my mother, she will tell you that I am naïve, and even though she would never admit it, sometimes I surprise her with my silly naiveté or trust and belief in what other people say. But when you embark on a journey like writing a blog, which causes you to put yourself out there, you learn a lot from this experience, but that’s only when you’re honest with yourself.

So after 6 months, when I would read other blogs, or talk to other people about blogging, I could honestly tell the fakers from the truth Sayers. Some people are quick to tell you their readership, or following and why they are awesome, instead of providing practical application and advice. This matters, because if you start to compare yourselves to them, you start wondering if you are doing something wrong or what more could you be doing, even though you are already barely getting any sleep.

But I just decided to sit back and learn genuine people versus the completely lying out of the side of their mouth people. Blogging and social media worlds are generally pretty friendly, sharing, and authentic. (Join any tweet chat, and the top word most of the time is authentic, trust me, I know). Everyone has been to lie to, and that gets kind of old.

I say all of this, because expectations are important. We should all have them for ourselves. It’s good to even have expectations of others, but if you don’t like heartbreak, having few expectations for your friends, family, and significant others is probably the best idea in my book.

I write a lot about creating goals, working on them, and achieving them. But the reality is that it’s so much more than your professional life. It could be personal, spiritual, among many other things. More importantly, they can be small or large goals, just don’t let anyone else define them for you. I wrote earlier this week about not putting ourselves in boxes, or getting caught up in identifying ourselves with a particular group. But sometimes, people on the outside do just that,  and try to set our expectations.

Because of my aspirations (taking over the world), ambitions (semi-entrepreneur), views (feminist, feminist, feminist, and girls rock), and passion (there is literally no end to it), people even put me in a box. I have to explain so many misconceptions of what I believe, what I am most proud of, and what things are most important to me. To the point, I create expectations based on these demands and not because it is in my heart. I encourage you not to do that as well. At some point in life, you have to live for you and realize, like I have learned, misconceptions will always be there, there is nothing you can do about it.   Smart people will move on and keeping doing what makes them happy, because at the end of the day that’s what is important.

So I picked, Great Expectations as my title, not because I like Charles Dickens’ book by any means. If fact, Great Expectations is probably my least favorite Dickens novel and not because it isn’t beautifully written, and the story is compelling, gut wrenching, etc, but I just wish the story was different for Pip.  Who can’t help but sympathize and admire him throughout the story. I oddly have a fond admiration for a story that I do not enjoy.

The term “Expectations” refers to a Victorian definition, “a legacy to come”, sounds beautiful does it not. Despite Pip’s orphan status, he has great ambition throughout this book, but at many points throughout, he is disappointed and it kind of hurts. So for me, I can love the thought of having great expectations, but reality will always set in. But as the preacher used to say, “trouble won’t last always”, and that’s exactly it. It is always better to try and miss the mark then to never try at all. Hopefully, our lives won’t be a tragedy  like Pip, but at least it won’t be half lived.  Create expectations, reach for the stars, and believe in dreams that only you are meant to enjoy.

So as I celebrate my anniversary, I encourage you to remember:

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Thanks for reading, and to another year!

Jackie-Monroe