Let’s Talk about Fight Club (and break all the rules)

giphy (3)

“First rule of Fight Club is — you do not talk about Fight Club.”

I have kind of been on a motivational and inspirational kick lately on Missing / Perspective. Sometimes inspirational topics come from a place of frustration or an obstacle that I’ve experienced and want to share my story. But if I was honest with myself, that’s not the real reason. #truthmoment  The TRUTH is that I am of two minds a lot of the time. What do I mean? I want to talk about the serious, intense and contested topics of our time, but more times than not, I can’t take a position.  I see both sides to some degree and I slightly sound like a crazy person. How can you like and dislike something at the same damn time. How can my mind have two thoughts that are completely and utterly opposite of each other? But it happens all the time, doesn’t it? Not just in my writing, but its happen in areas all over our life.  One the songs from favorite artist, Nikka Costa, so brilliantly sings  “My soul wants to go one way, but my heart and mind in a tug of war with me baby”. When we are struggling with tough topics or areas in our life,  it is almost innate in us to have a double mind and not make up our mind, but rather vacillate in between both.  But it shouldn’t be… we have to be of one mind, or we will go crazy.

So it makes perfect sense that one of the iconic movies of our generation is none other than “Fight Club” which premiered in the late in 1999 right before the new millennium. (and Yes, I know it is was a book first) If you haven’t seen the movie Fight Club, (Please go watch it, but continuing reading first), but  throughout the movie, we think that Brad Pitt and Edward Norton are two different people when in fact they are the same person, there are hints along the way that make you question some of the actions and behavior, and it doesn’t become clearer until later. I was 13 or 14 when I saw this movie and it resonated with me as much as it does today.

We can all be of two minds, this idea of double mindedness. But even more importantly, is to understand that Edward Norton, the Narrator, created Brad Pitt’s character, Tyler Durden, from his subconscious. Why? Because he hated his life, and created an alter-ego that was everything that he was not, and at first he was enamored by Tyler Durden, but eventually, and by the end of the movie, he knew he had to get rid of him even after he realizes the he was Tyler Durden.  Ultimately, the Narrator shoots himself through his jaw/back of the head to “kill” his alter ego.

I loved this movie as a young teenager, and I thought I was cool, cause I “got” it. But, oh, how I was wrong. As an adult, I understand the one of the movie’s concepts so clearly (or this is how I am perceiving it). This idea of being discontent, and not really knowing what to change or how to change it, but you know you want to change your mind! And in this case, the Narrator’s subconscious made the decision that he had to step in.

We have discontentment because, we are:

Scared of risks

Regret of wrong choices

 Fear of what’s next

So we choose love: Monotony

So when I think of the famous tagline from the movie, “First rule of Fight Club is — you do not talk about Fight Club” for all intents and purpose this a rule for a club about fighting, but I see so much more in this. Tyler was telling the Narrator to not talk about his dirty little secret. To not talk about the discontentment or all the things that he was unhappy about. See Tyler wanted to remain alive, keep the double mindedness going on inside. But the Narrator was just discontent, the best approach is  to face your issues, fears, or threats head on, not to ignore them and create a path around it, because guess what, your life will come back to it. Although the movie ends soon after the Narrator kills Tyler, you wonder what he does with his life. We will never know, but you can take a minute to think about things you are double-minded about:

  1. Choose a Side – Life is constantly changing, but you can’t be in two worlds. It’s true that the person you are today will change and that’s okay! But embrace your changes and move on. Don’t try to live in the past and the future. You must choose to be the same, or choose to change.
  2. Live like you have no regrets! (But of course you will have them) – After a mistake is made, learn from it. What do I mean? (More in depth discussion  here)
  3. Your external influences matter (i.e. Friends)- Duh? Right. Choosing your friends wisely is so important. The people who are around you have no choice, but have some effect on you even if you think that they won’t. But if you have people around you that are not in alignment with your core, you may start having a double mind. Don’t fool yourself into think you’re immune.

The reality, if you don’t choose who are, and define yourself, you’ll look back at a life you halfway lived. Take the reigns and live all of it. I am going to do my part to. I have to get back to sharing the Missing /Perspective or no one else will. I am right here with you. Another popular quote from the movie is, “How much can you know about yourself, if you never have been in a fight?” It’s time to have a little fight from within, and choose a winner! Make a choice, who are you going to be?


Matthew 6:24, “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: