Missing Perspective

I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world. – Thomas A. Edison

So I was challenged to write a post a few months ago about a time when I received a favor for me and it made a difference. The process actually took longer than I expected, and I actually had a little trouble. At first, I honestly could only think of one good example, and it was so personal, I was not sure if I could find the words to speak on the situation, especially since it occurred so recently. So as usual I took a look at several definitions of the word “favor” to get my brain processes flowing. The one I settled on is, “A favor is an act of kindness that is beyond what is due or usual”, and all my thoughts came together. (source).

Now, if you know me, I am not one to really like favors from people, because I am that person who is trying to go above and beyond for the people I love and care about. It’s just my nature. So asking for help is pretty low on my priority list. But this past spring, I needed more than one favor, I needed several.

In September of 2013, I left a job and a city  I LOVED, and moved to a city where I knew no one, except my boyfriend of seven years, for a job I would come to hate in about 3 weeks. By the following March (in 2014), I experienced the ultimate betrayal from my now ex-boyfriend, and I was still in a city where I knew no one, besides my co-workers at the job that I thoroughly hated at this point.  I honestly wanted to give up,  pack up, and quit; not to mention, I was not prepared to move out on my own financially.  But there was one problem, I was in amazing city, full of opportunity, and home was not exactly where I needed to be.

So let me list the favors that I received, I had family members travel and move my stuff, provide furniture, loan money, and offer to kill my ex-boyfriend. But the thing that made the difference were the friends who took the time to check on me on a regular basis, at one point, I had all my close friends call me in the same week, it was like one called each day, and these are not friends who know each other. Collectively, unbeknownst to them, they made sure that I was not giving up, because I needed to keep pushing.

I think that is what a favor is all about, is going above and beyond for what someone knows what they need. I needed the money, and the furniture, and I asked for those things, and they are favors nonetheless. But the favors that made the difference were the ones, I couldn’t have known I needed, but someone else looking from the outside was able to provide to me the support I needed. Sometimes we don’t even know our own needs, and when others notice it makes all the difference. And the last reason why friends were so important, is that my situation was not dire, I was not dying, I had food and a roof over my head, but I had poured myself into a relationship that was not right for me, and I was left emotionally bankrupt. All my friends had told me that it was wrong for me, but each of them was there when I needed it the most, and that made all the difference. Because as a strong woman who conquers mountains in my professional world, getting a helping hand, asking for a favor is the hardest thing, let alone accept, but good friends don’t let that stop them.

The favor that you didn’t know you needed is always the  best!

M/P